The Epidemic of Fatherless Homes
Richy Fisher grew up in Van Buren, Arkansas. He arrived at Community Bible in 2018 as our Executive Pastor. Richy received his education at Oklahoma Baptist University. Richy has previous ministry experience at Sugar Creek Baptist Church in Houston, Texas where he was the Pastor of Student Minsitry for nearly 15 years. Prior to that he served as Pastor of Student Ministry at Trinity Baptist Church in Yukon Oklahoma for 11 years. Richy also founded a ministry called Lead 222.
Richy and his bride Susan just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary. They have three sons; Nathan, Ryan, and William.
How important is Fatherhood?
I believe that fatherhood is one of the most important roles in our society. In fact, studies both secular and religious find that families who have fathers that are physically, emotionally and spiritually involved in their families have families that are far healthier than families who do not. Taken further, the children of these families have a much greater chance at success in life than children who do not have good fathers in their lives. This equates to higher grades, emotional stability, higher academic degrees, better jobs, longer marriages and even emotional health. But when a child grows up in a fatherless home, the risks are exponentially higher in every category including poverty, behavior problems, crime, drug and alcohol abuse and incarcerations. Recent statistics found that fatherless homes produce:
• 63% of teen suicides
• 90 % of teen runaways
• 71% of high school dropouts
• 75% of teenagers in drug treatment
• 85% of prison inmates
Over my 30+ years of working in student ministry, there was no greater indicator in the positive trajectory of a child than a father who was physically, emotionally, and spiritually present in the lives of his children.
Use statistics and biblical
How has the importance of fatherhood changed in the last few years?
Over the past 50 years, fatherlessness has more than doubled in our country. I recently read an article that stated that “if fatherlessness was a disease, it would be an epidemic worthy of national attention.” And having just emerged from a worldwide pandemic, we can fully understand the magnitude of this statement. In America, more and more children grow up in fatherless homes. According to the recent US Census, 1 in 4 children live without a biological, stepfather, or adoptive father in the home. In addition, even if the father lives in the home, too often that father is absent emotionally or spiritually leaving their children to grow up without a fatherly love, guidance or instruction as they develop. In contrast, 50 years ago most children in America had fathers who provided stability and nurturing to their families. Today, the number of children growing up without a father has reached an all-time high. You can even see the changes by looking at the fathers in modern television as compared to those in the past. Fathers as portrayed in TV programming in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s were caring, involved, and engaged in their families. Take for example the father figures in Father Knows Best or Andy Griffith. However, fathers portrayed in today’s programs are distant, inept, many times immoral, and barely able to lead themselves, let alone their families. Much has changed in society’s view of fathers and men.
What are the biggest struggles men face today?
There is a battle going on in our country against maleness and manhood. No longer are men encouraged to be men. Labels like “toxic masculinity” are placed upon men who are trying be who God made them and it seems that society is trying to aggressively diminish those traditional roles. Inversely, women are encouraged to take on more masculine roles in the family and embrace maleness while men are being encouraged to take on femaleness. I recently read an article where Switzerland schools are teaching boys to dance and girls to yell in order to balance out the roles that have been consider normal for centuries. As a result, most young men I know are not developing into the men they should be out of fear that the culture will criticize and marginalize them.
What do you see as men’s biggest needs?
I see the biggest need facing men today is to have good role models in their lives as it relates to manhood. Every man should have another man who is wiser and older in their life who challenges them to be a godly man. Godly manhood is a product of mentoring and learning and not a byproduct of merely genetics. Most men grow up with poor role models in their lives and do not know what a real man is supposed to look or act like. The male images that are imprinted to too many young men today are usually unhealthy male role models that give a distorted view of what a real man should be.
How can men best help our culture today?
I believe the best contribution that men can offer our culture today is to be the type of men that God’s call is calling all men to be. The studies being conducted (both secular and religious) concerning the “ills” of our society, directly or indirectly point to the lack of healthy male leadership in our society. If more men were to take on responsibilities that the Bible places upon them, our culture and society would shift greatly in a positive direction. Additionally, if fathers would model and teach their boys to become godly young men, those young men would have significant impacts on the world around them.
How can men help our churches today?
Every church that I know including my own has a need for strong, godly male leadership. For too long, women have predominantly carried the weight of the church and have been the backbone of the local church in service, leadership and spiritual influence. Although they too have a role that God has laid out for them in scripture, men must also fulfill those roles in order for our churches to be spiritually healthy. The vacancy created by lack of male leaders, I believe has led to weak churches and the decline of church in this country. So for our churches to become healthy more men need to become serious about godly manhood, spiritual growth, discipleship and leadership.
How would you describe Godly masculinity?
The word godly actually means to behave in step with the principles found in God’s Word. Masculinity is simply embracing and become what God has designed men to be. Therefore, Godly masculinity is to live out the principles in God’s Word in step with our maleness. Contrary to the current culture, men are different than women and God designed them to be different. Therefore, men must embrace the uniqueness that God created in them and become image bearers of God that created them. Robert Lewis who has spent many years writing about Biblical manhood and been leading men men on the subject offers four characteristics of Biblical manhood as found in the Bible. They are:
A godly man leads courageously
A godly man rejects passivity
A godly man accepts responsibility
A godly man seeks God’s reward
In addition, as Christians, our model for manhood is Christ who not only showed us the path to God, but who also lived out and modeled each of these characteristics. I believe that his life best illustrates Biblical manhood and what every man should emulate.
What is a good book you would recommend to encourage men?
The best book for understanding manhood and being encouraged to be a godly man is the Bible. It would seem that this should be a given for Christian men however, too many men that I know, rarely read the Bible as a “template” for manhood. They have the misconception that the Bible is full of fluff and stories that aren’t applicable to their lives. However, the Bible is filled with stories of men struggling with the same issues that men today face and overcoming the odds to make a difference in their families and world. Outside of the Bible, a book that helped me gain a better understanding of masculinity is a book called Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. He lays out that God created men to be adventurous and dangerous, but our society is seeking to “tame” our maleness. With the pressure to be a “nice guy”, men are missing out how God designed them to be. Another great book to encourage men is Raising A Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis. Lewis lays out what it means to be a real man and how fathers can nurture their young boys to become men in light of the knights of long ago.
The Man Up podcast hopes to encourage men to connect with God and with other men. Our podcast will cover a range of topics that are relevant to our day and to the heart of man. It is the hosts’ desire to help men find and live out their divine purpose in life. We believe that all men and women are created in His Image and that our ultimate example is the Messiah. We hope you are encouraged to live a godly masculine life.
