I grew up in a church where personal evangelism was taught as one of the primary markers of your faith. If you were not “leading” people to Christ, you were not living the full Christian life. It was taken very seriously and promoted routinely. Training was made available. You had to learn “The Romans Road” and you were expected to complete a course called Evangelism Explosion.

Honestly, it all felt awkward to me. I remember praying about it and how inadequate I felt. I remember the guilt. Oh yeah, the guilt.

Now looking back on those experiences, I can see some value in all of it, but I really believe it caused more harm and confusion than it helped. It was a program, a sales technique. It was artificial and even manipulative. I believe the intentions were pure and noble, but the application was faulty. It became a transaction and not a transformation. It had an element of wanting others to believe the same thing I did so that I (we) would feel better about ourselves.

The people we were “witnessing” to became a project, a number, a goal. I believe many people see right through this type of “evangelism” and are repulsed by it. They feel more like a product than a person. I do believe the gospel is the Good News, and my hope is that everyone will experience His grace, forgiveness, and love. But He is not a product to be sold, and they are not a project to be won. Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God with all you’ve got and to love others. People will not really listen to you until they know that you actually care about them as a person, not simply a project.

I was recently listening to a podcast called No Regrets. It’s a podcast to encourage men who are trying to minister to other men. I highly recommend the podcast to any man, especially if you are leading a small group or a ministry to men. They have an annual conference appropriately called The No Regrets Conference. The next conference is this February. They had a speaker from the conference in 2022 named Dave Ferguson. He and his brother Jon had written a book titled BLESS: 5 Everyday Ways to Love Your Neighbor and Change the World. Dave basically covered the main concepts of their book in the podcast. It was really good!

He had experienced some of the same frustrations that I had when it comes to evangelism. The book really is an easy read and is very practical. I would encourage you to get a copy and read it. I’m going to try to summarize briefly my takeaways from the book. I will not do the book or the brothers justice, so please listen to the podcast episode here and or buy the book here.

After reviewing his frustrations with his own personal evangelism, Jon decided to try something different. He goes into much more detail in the book, but basically, he starts or begins with prayer. Thus, the B in BLESS: Begin with prayer. He encourages us to pray for those we come into contact with frequently and pray for blessings in their lives and for wisdom to know how to be a blessing to them. Okay so far for me. I can pray for people. Pretty simple.

The next letter is L. It stands for Listen. He encourages us to really listen to the people we come into contact with. Listen nonjudgmentally! Don’t just simply listen but actually listen. Don’t start thinking about what you’re going to say next—just listen. People will tell you all sorts of things, if you listen and listen nonjudgmentally. I must confess, this one is a little harder for me. I tend to make judgments on people pretty easily and quickly. Of course, I wouldn’t want others to judge me the same way. Simply listen.

The E stands for Eat: Eat with them. Okay, I am all in on this one! They make the argument in the book that something almost magical happens when we break bread with someone. Sharing a meal is simple. Think of all the opportunities we have to share a meal or a cup of coffee with someone. Again, do not forget to listen. Sharing a meal provides a great time for us to practice listening.

The first S stands for serving. If you listen long enough, most people will tell you how to serve them. Serve out of love and compassion, not trying to create an obligation.

The second S stands for your Story. After you have listened and learned how to serve and have prayed extensively, you will have the opportunity to share your story. And your story is the Good News. It is not a sales tactic. It is a practical way to love others as Jesus told us to do.

I hope you all find this idea of BLESS as practical and encouraging as I have. I believe this is a simple way to remember how to love others, and it always begins with prayer.